So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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