just tell him i said nine months
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
