No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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