sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
