omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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