I feel like I'm in dance class right now
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
