Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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