I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Randomize
