What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
