Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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