Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
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