My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
