hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
