i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
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