Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize