YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
i need some magic done to my vagina
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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