We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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