My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
