Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
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