I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
