When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
