Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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