At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
