you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
