Can Purell be used as lube?
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
