You just made me feel so damn special
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
