Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize