Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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