Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Randomize
