I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
