That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
