i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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