Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
