Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
