no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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