You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
