okay pat passed out under dana's car
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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