"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
