You're my little dorito
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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