I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
