3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize