we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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