Whod you bang
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize