Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
