There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize