not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Found your dick twin last night
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
