OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We are all done wearing pants today
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
