She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
