I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
