You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
