6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Two words: nipple clamps
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