i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
