And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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