I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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