she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
