He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
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