Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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