You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
and you said cock pushups were impossible
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
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