Yo dont text me then not text me
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
