32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
