why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
